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Its 2016 and the sexual preference of a parent is probably not that big of a factor in custody that it used to be and it would be a sad state if it were. You can be angry at your spouse all you want, but don’t put your kids through that. They will have enough to deal with that they might not need to know the inner workings of your bedroom. Get a lawyer for you and a counselor for them. You should probably see a counselor too. You are going to have a lot to sort out and you will need a professional.
7. Get someone who is not in the “inner circle” of your marriage who believes you and will put you up for a night or two if things get dicey. This person may not be your “couple friends” or even your family. Don’t go inviting random coworkers, your boss, or even your friend at church to your drama. You have probably been living in the “Twilight Zone” of lies for so long, you may not know who to trust. Maybe this would be a good time to make sure you have enough credit on that credit card you got to stay in a hotel if you need too. If you are concerned about violence, you might want to familiarize yourself with local shelters just in case.
